There are times when no games look good. I just stare at my Steam library and say to myself, “What do I play?” And just sit staring until I give up and go play Elden Ring. This time I sat down and just pressed play on a game and I ended up absolutely loving it. Imagine a modern-day Rampage game and you have this week’s game. Help fight climate change this week in Terror of Hemasaurus.

Terror of Hemasaurus is a “retro arcade smash ’em up”  from Loren Lemcke. The game released in October 2022 for all platforms. It retails for $13.

Global warming is threatening the world and the game opens up with a debate between a rich candidate and a scientist about the topic. A glacier conveniently containing a Kaiju breaks off and finds its way to the “followers of the holy lizard.” The religion prides itself on teaching that loss of life is the only way to change the minds of the masses into caring about their carbon footprint. So they send you out to kill and destroy until people change.

The story is linear and comedic. Riddled with memes about media, the 1% vs scientists, the media splitting hairs for views, aliens and how they don’t understand why humans act the way they do, etc. it is all very funny and relevant to the current atmosphere.

The rich argue that they, though not experts on the topic, can tell you all about how fossil fuels are great and how solar power and wind farms are the actual killers. They have a lot to say when their bottom line is threatened.

The story is bleak and dark, posing problems about what can happen if nothing is done to save the planet.

Oh, and there is a section talking about what it takes to get help publishing a video game. Sometimes cannibalism happens I guess.

Gameplay is what I always thought of Rampage. You gotta jump button, a break shit button, an eat human button, and an ultimate ability.

At the start of each level, there is a follower who informs you on what to do for this scenario: Media is making you out to be the bad guy! So go hug some cats and dogs while the vet hospital is burning. Or there are news helicopters everywhere so starting yeeting humans into the propellers to cut them down.

You are then let out to do your own thing. The game teaches you everything you need to know about how things work. Buildings can fall into other buildings if you take out the supports the correct way or kicking cars at an angle may just give the building just enough to fall.

In literally no time you are hopping from building to building eating people and butt-stomping the supports out all the while buildings are collapsing behind you in a spectacular fashion. At the end of each level, it will give you a rundown of placement on the leaderboard, and how much money in damages the player caused.

It’s the little things that make the game so much more enjoyable.

Terror of Hemasaurus is beautiful in its own right. The game has so much color and when you begin your reign of destruction the colors amplify. As buildings are falling over and people are getting stepped on and blood is covering the streets, there is so much beauty in the destruction.

There are points in the game where there is so much fire and fillings buildings and shit exploding that only the enormous Kaiju is the only thing that can be made out. It is truly something spectacular.

The music is by Shawn Daley and the 16-bit soundtrack really fits the game. I really liked the end-stage track.

Terror of Hemasaurus is a short but sweet video game. The game spans about three hours and I think that it is all that I want from a game like this; the nostalgia is real but it lasts only so long. There are three chapters with a bunch of levels and bonus levels to test your skills, the music is good and the game looks great. There is a couch coop mode where you can just destroy shit and an endless mode to show off to your friends.

The game is fun and the story is relevant (sort of). It’s a good time for cheap.

7/10