Sometimes I just wanna play some really shitty games. I have a good list of games that I want to get through but there are times when you just want to deviate from that a play a good, garbage game. This week I go mini-golfing while trying to avoid a serial killer, this week is Gone Golfing.

Gone Golfing is a horror game from Icehelm. It was released in 2020 for the PC and retails for $5 (as of this post it is currently on sale).

After having a bad day at work, you decided to take some time and go to the local mini-golf course, Cozy Cove and play a round. I can’t put into words what happens next: A serial killer is let loose, and you need to finish all thirteen holes without being murdered.

The protagonist is defenseless, meaning that you literally cannot do anything but run and hide. WASD moves, there is a “putting mode,” and moving the mouse hits the ball with a respective force.

The serial killer is roaming the same areas as you, and if he sees you, it is time to run. Most of the time they will catch you. Breaking line of sight does not look like it does much here but you can cheese your way through a majority of the game getting to spots that the baddies cannot reach. You are dead if they find you but the good thing is that progress is not lost on death but you just zip back to the beginning and continue on which hole you left off at.

It is really astonishing that within the game there are puzzle-themed mini-golf sections. I remember, specifically, the first puzzle where you had to find levers (which play a HUGE role) and time hitting a ball onto pallets and then into a hole somewhere across the area. It works.

No sound but the footsteps of the bad guys. Audio cues from soda cans and other cheesy stuff are present to alert bad guys of your position.

The game looks like an early PS2 game. It looks like poop in some sections but that’s fine I honestly do not care in the slightest.

Gone Golfing is a fine game for $5. When you first play it, it’s a spooky game. The first moment I saw the bad guy, I jumped a few more times after that. It does lose a lot of spookiness knowing that you will die a lot because they will ALWAYS find you. The puzzles within the game are really clever. Killing the eldritch fish, specifically, is a good example of a pretty good puzzle. Gone Golfing lasted around an hour and fifteen minutes for the first playthrough. It said that if you get under a certain stroke, you will get something special, so I tried and failed miserably.

Gone Golfing is a really fun and interesting game for $5. I would recommend it if you have an afternoon to blow and want a decent spook.