It is now the second post of the new year and I still have yet to figure out why I always decide to play games that take all the fun out of playing games. I enjoy games, reader, but I do not enjoy playing games that require a massive amount of thinking and strategy to overcome and then still get fucking slammed in the end. Screw thinking about the shape of the enemy (which is incredibly difficult to determine by the way) to simply destroy it. This week I remember why I remember hand holding in video games fondly and sit through 3 hours worth of my ass getting folded; this week I play Flat Kingdom.
Flat Kingdom is a 2D adventure game developed by Fat Panda Games and published by Games Starter. It released in mid 2016 and retails for $8.
You are Flat, a piece of a paper, reminiscent of a knight, in a world that is currently in turmoil. A fox masked person has stolen a number of precious jewels that saved the 2D world in the past. The jewels had once saved the 2D from the dominance by the 3D. Sent out by the King, Flat and his shapeshifting powers go on an adventure to stop the bad guy and save the world.
Flat can shapeshift, and by shapeshift I mean that he can fold into a tringle, his normal circle and a fucking square. Apparently the world around Flat can be beaten simply by changing shape, which makes this world incredibly easy to dominate. Certain shapes beat other shapes: Triangle >Circle, Circle> Square and Square>Triangle. Monsters take this formula and it is up to your better judgement to figure out what the shape of the monster is and simply jump on its head. Other than that it is some simple platforming with a itty bit of puzzles added in.
Good luck, though, in trying to figure out what shapes are which. I may just be fucking stupid but I could NOT for the life of me figure out some of the shapes of the monsters. There is an opossum and may Christ help me because it was a triangle. A lot of the time it is hard to determine the shape of a monster and it ends up using hearts to guess and check.
There are plenty of locales to jump around in. There is a lava locale that has a fun little moment at the end, a icy locale that specializes in swimming, etc. Each location is cut into 3 subsections that also incorporates a mini-boss and an end section boss. Both stages require the player to figure out what the fucking shape of the enemy is and beat it’s ass. Once you figure it out the boss fights become quite easy.
Flat Kingdom is a game that I didn’t finish.
I didn’t finish it because towards the end of it, boss spam was apparently the way to go. The issue that I had with the game was with the pacing. Levels that weren’t the boss stages were fast and felt really smooth and then you get to the boss fight and the pacing just HALTS. The bosses take more time to defeat and it is just plain slow and I personally hate it.
Having to fight the pervious bosses was just too much for me and I honestly quit right after finishing the final boss.
Flat was fun. Platforming is ALWAYS fun, but when you add a mechanic that is integral to defeating enemies and give nothing more than a shallow description of how to defeat certain shapes and your combat becomes a guessing games, it becomes not fun. Having good pacing during non-boss sections and when the boss comes rolling around, have the game slow down to a almost 10-15 minute fight, that, if you die, have to restart from the beginning, the game loses it fun.
it was fun, it is, that, I would never like to play it again.