One too Many Parks – You Suck at Parking

Here I am this week to talk about a game that I talked about when the demo dropped some time ago. I had fun with You Suck at Parking when I played the demo because it introduced a few mechanics and the levels were fast and simple. This week I slog through two hours of frustration only to be rewarded with battle pass XP and another ridiculously long level. This week is You Suck at Parking.

You Suck at Parking (or YSP for short) is a top-down driving arcade game from Happy Volcano. The game was released in September of this year for all platforms and retails for $20.

There is no reverse and I must park. The goal of the game is to traverse ever-expanding levels in search of parking spots to park in. At the top of the screen, there is a number of parking spots, and if you park in one without restarting it will light up gold for a perfect run, but miss and it has a mundane color for mediocrity. Find all parking spots and win the level.

The thing is, there will always be obstacles to get in the way of your parking. Sometimes there will be police to nab you for running a red light, little boost pads that accelerate you to ungodly speeds, and even vehicles to get in your way. All of these mechanics are funneled slowly and end, usually, on a crescendo of utter madness. You will be maneuvering through police as you weave in between cars all the while jumping off cliffs to nab a sweet parking spot. A lot of the time, while I was playing, I felt like I was enjoying a few level types more than others. I was first met with this type of map when I had to outrun the police in a maze-like map. It was equally difficult and frustrating to the point where I set the controller down and waited a day to continue playing.

The controls are extremely sharp and easy to learn. I played the game on my Xbox Series S and I had quite a time learning the controls. This is definitely a game where you DO NOT want a keyboard and mouse. I actually cannot imagine this game being played without a controller.

There is an overworld that the player can drive around in with levels that introduce a new mechanic and still to a specific theme. In terms of the single-player, there is a bunch of content, like 7-9 hours of content. There is a multiplayer mode attached as well. It is kinda fun when you mash a bunch of people into a simple game mode and expect them to park without error before everyone else.

YSP looks good enough for me. I wasn’t expecting much but was met with a bunch of really nice colors and an attractive art style.

There is exactly one fucking song and it is the most annoying thing I have ever listened to.

I liked YSP until I hit a consecutive amount of levels I did not enjoy and it really sucked the fun straight out of the game. The levels are so fucking long and along with that need expert driving skills to get to the parking spots. After playing the same level over ten times, I gave up and switched to multiplayer. The multiplayer is fun, for only a moment. The levels are lackluster in design and I played the same level a bunch of times. I knew then that it was time to give up on the game.

The battle pass really doesn’t do the game any good either. I really have no issue with the design of the battle pass, it was just that I was under the impression that the game was not multiplayer-focused, and when I did find out, the game was practically unfinished when it came to the multiplayer. Cosmetics are cool but paying $20 for a game that has not-so-good multiplayer to then sell you a battle pass to unlock cosmetics is just a slap in the face. Do with that what you will.

In the end, the singleplayer is fun, up until you get to the maze-like levels and the multiplayer blows. Coupled with a meaningless battle pass, I have to say that I would have felt bad if I bought this game.

Thank God Gamepass is a thing.

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